April 2004 PAC Minutes by recorded by Candace Watson Lord Byng Senior Secondary Parent Advisory Council General Meeting Minutes Date & Time: April 20, 2004. Convened at 7:15 PM Location: Lord Byng Senior Secondary School, West Foyer 3939 West 16^th Avenue, Vancouver, B.C. ATTENDANCE: _Alex Azcona, Jan Berney, Cindy Brenneis, __Ken Cameron__, Caroline Crowe, Allison Downie, __Rick Downie__, Sybil Faigin, Laurie Fredrick, Mel Gardener, Paul Greisman, Susan Gunn, C. Haddock, Alice Hurst, Janet Karp, Miriam Karp, Kathy Kelly, Leah Markovitch, Kathy Mukai, Lorene Morgan, Laurel Novacek, Linda Patient, B.E. Pollard, Tracy Proke, Jeff Rice, __Kathie Road__, __John Robertson__, Heather Shaw, C. Sinclair, Bill Strobl, Bridget Stobl, Deborah Tildesley, Candace Watson, Rosanne Wozny, J.M. Zafuopoulos_ _ _ SCHOOL REPS: (Principal) Darlene Braeder, Rob Schindel, (Vice Principal), Kim McDougal (School Nurse) 1. Minutes of the March 23, 2004 meeting. / / /Laurie Frederick moved to adopt the Minutes of the March 2004 meeting. Jan Berney seconded the motion, Carried./ 2. Principal?s Report - reports were sent home Friday with the Parent Interview forms; these must be completed and returned today. April 27 is Parent/Teacher Interview night. - the Student Council elections are tomorrow and Thursday; speeches are tomorrow. - The Grade breakfasts are coming up. The teachers serve the students breakfast: pancakes, bacon and a beverage and these offer an opportunity to celebrate the students? achievements, to announce the Honour Roll and the Principal?s List. - The Grade 10?s and 11?s are interviewing for Peer Counseling and auditions are being held for the Theatre Company and Strings. - on May 4^th to 7^th the Theatre Company is presenting /Goth/, a Woody Allen musical. - the Senior Boys ??? team won the St. George?s Plate. - our first Ultimate team has been formed and Track and Field is on-going. - communication between home and school is a challenge. Most schools send home 4 newsletters in the school year; Lord Byng send home 8. There would be a considerable saving in printing and postage if the newsletter is transmitted electronically, either posting the newsletter on the web site or sending it out to parents via e-mail. DB proposes to send out a newsletter (hard copy) in August and thereafter either letting families know via the phonemaster that the newsletter has been posted to the web site or sending it out by e-mail. There would also be hard copies available for pick-up. The administration is looking into the pros and cons. - There was a question about whether parents could respond by e-mail and DB said that yes parents should have that option. The administration is looking into software which will gather the e-mail addresses. - DB said that she has been receiving mixed messages about the phone master and asked for reactions. - one parent responded that she really valued the way the school communicates but that she had received two calls about her child being absent and in one case she was only late and the other instance was a mistake. DB recommended a call to the counsellor to set things straight. - Mr. Schindel is the ?guru? of the phone master and he says that sometimes there are errors in scanning; the best thing is to either call Mr. S. or the Grade counselor. - one parent commented that the phone master works if she answers the phone or the message is recorded on the answering machine; otherwise she doesn?t get the information 3. SPC Meeting (DB) - The Byng SPC is doing really well and is going to share data with other schools - Next year the school is going to be examined by the Ministry so the SPC is going to start the process earlier in the Fall so that it can get as much done as possible before the review process. 4. Treasurer?s Report (PG) - Paul Greisman presented the Disbursements as at April 20, 2004 on the overhead and pointed out that the planned disbursements from the Regular Account are 81% paid. The disbursements from the Gaming Account are 77% paid. 5. School Calendar and Directory for 2004/2005 (Jan Berney) - JB reported that the Executive had discussed the production of the school calendar which was sent out to all school families and cost $5,000 to produce. A survey was circulated at the Parent/Teacher night and there were not many responses. - the Executive is considering putting the calendar on the web site with a few hard copies available at the office. - one parent commented that she appreciated getting the calendar but found that she didn?t use it. 6. Updates on Committees /(a) //DPAC (//John Robertson//)/ / / - On May 15, the BCCPAC has its AGM; a number of special resolutions are to be voted on by DPAC and then the resolutions are presented to the BCCPAC at the AGM. - Some of the resolutions which have been put forward include advocacy of seismic upgrading and upholding the standards of education; JR noted that nothing had been included about safety in the schools. - There is a meeting of the DPAC on Thursday to discuss the resolutions; normally the representative would report back to the PAC. - JR asked whether the PAC was willing to nominate him to vote on the issues as he sees fit. JR would be glad to have another PAC member come with him. /Laurie Frederick// moved that JR speak on our behalf at DPAC; //Paul// Greisman// seconded the motion. Motion carried./ /(b) //Nominations for the 2004-2005 Executive (LF)/ - the annual elections for the PAC Executive take place in My and again in September. The initial elections are in May so that the Executive can elect the Officers. The second election in September allows new parents to the school to stand for election. - LF asked for volunteers for the Executive and asked parents interested to either see one of the Executive or go to the PAC website. - A new Treasurer is needed because PG is graduating. PG states that only a knowledge of spreadsheets is necessary. There is no heavy legal liability; the VSB has insurance. - KC announced that we are also looking for a new Speaker Coordinator as Kathie Road wants to retire from that position; the person does not necessarily have to sit on the Executive. - KR stated that the advantages of the position are: arranging for the speakers takes less time than it would seem (about 2 hours a month); RD and KR will help out; the coordinator gets good cooperation from the Administration and Staff; the position gives one the opportunity to meet interesting people, the opportunity to follow up on interesting topics, the opportunity to provide a variety of venues and good experience is gained which can be applied. /(c) Hanging Baskets (LF)/ - the deadline for handing in the order forms for hanging baskets is April 30; the forms were sent out with the last newsletter and also can be downloaded from the PAC website. - The money earned by this fund raiser goes toward student and school-sponsored activities. - In answer to a question LF explained that the money raised from the sale of hanging baskets used to go toward Grad. However, because the rules governing the use of Gaming Funds changed, Grad activities can now be supported by Gaming Funds so the equivalent amount of funds usually raised through the hanging basket sales was transferred from the Gaming account /(d) Blueberry Fund-Raiser (LF)/ - frozen blueberries are available for sale in 30 pound boxes for $3.50 per pound (or $105 per box). $1.00 per pound will go to the PAC for student and school-sponsored activities. - The boxes measure 10? by 10? by 15? and freezer bags will also be provided so that boxes may be split. Recipes from the Blueberry Council of BC are also available. - Order forms are available; orders must be in by May 7^th . /(e) Meetings (KC)/ - In the interest of better liaison with our feeder schools the PAC Executives from Kitchener, Queen Elizabeth and Queen Mary have been invited to this meeting. - We sense that there are a number of issues that Byng has in common with the feeder schools and that good communication between the schools would be desirable. - We would like to see a continuum of participation in PAC next year as well as getting an early start at involving the Grade 8 parents. - Next month?s speaker will be Wendy Gilmour speaking about volunteer options as well as a representative from Hire A Student. 7. Other Business - Jeff Rice, the treasurer of the Music Society reported on Swyng with Byng. The net proceeds are approximately $2,700 (this is not finalized), part of which will go to PAC. The majority of the proceeds stay with the Music Society who give the money to the various music programs. 8. Speakers - KR introduced Kim McDougal, the school nurse and Laura Taylor-Hansen who is with Options for Sexual Health (formerly Planned Parenthood). /Kim McDougal/ / / - KM does do some sexual health educating. She has done the Grade 10?s and 11?s and will be doing the Grade 12?s. - She also deals with individuals, providing facts in answer to their questions. - Kim works with 5 other nurses and they are responsible for 43 schools. - She has found that there are common issues among the schools; the current trends are oral sex and unprotected sexual intercourse. /Laura Taylor-Hansen/ - LTH is an RN and works for Options for Sexual Health. - She is an educator in Vancouver and Burnaby talking with medical and nursing students and with Grades K to 12. - She is also associated with the Facts of Life Line and the Centre for Disease Control. - Her topic tonight will include What is sexuality? How do kids learn about sex? Issues around sex and questions. - Talking about sex is difficult. LTH opened the discussion by asking a number of questions. - - /How did you learn about sex when you were teenagers?/ The answers included: in the locker room, from a book that mother had hidden in a chocolate box, books in the bookcase, Cosmopolitan, family talks, films in Grades 5/6 and 7/8, a 40 minute Biology lesson in a girls-only school by an 80 year old teacher and separate films for girls and boys. - /Were you able to go freely to your parents?/ The answers appeared to be that few could go to their parents and many more wished that they could have. - /What would you have liked to have asked your parents?/ One parent would rather have died than gone to her mom who was a nurse (too embarrassing). Another said that she discussed sex with her peers but didn?t really understand the information. In Grade 6, the facts of life were given but it was too much information, too soon. There was some discussion about the differentiation between the facts, science, the physical side and the emotional side, talking about feelings. Another parent asked an older woman about her feelings and whether they were normal. - /If you did not learn about sex from your parents or school, where?/ Books, notes from girlfriends, peers, mother, older siblings, the media. - /What is the one message that you would like to send to your children?/ o Wait; o Sex is natural; o Watch out for the passion side, it can carry you away; o The difference between knowing within yourself when you are ready vs peer pressure; o Media savvy; o Knowing that you can say no and not be a square ; it?s okay. o You don?t have to say yes to be popular; o Information about where they can go to get factual information (there are some great resources out there). - /What is sexuality?/ It?s a difficult word to define; it includes: sex, intimacy, understanding your body and how it works, attitude, self-esteem, body image, reproduction, body language, sex drive. In puberty it all goes up a notch. - It?s hard to learn what?s right in one place, one age, and group of people may not be right in another. There are so many different rules about sexuality. If the family speaks a language other than English it?s hard for teenagers to learn what?s appropriate and what?s not. There are different levels of appropriateness. - /The primary sexual educators should be parents. Why? / o Because different families have different values and beliefs; o Teenagers are very much influenced by the group, by their peers; o Educating starts at birth with the naming of the body parts ? it is important to teach all of them; o Teens need more than the nuts and bolts; they need to know about STD?s and they need the skill and knowledge to deal with peer pressure. o Often a ?teachable moment? occurs and you can lead into a discussion. /Oral sex/ - there is a concern across the country about oral sex; girls are being pressured not only by boys but also by other girls ? ?You?re not cool if you?re not going to do this.? These are boundaries issues; how do you manage the passion? - The McCreery report published statistics from a 2003 survey across the Province. One finding is that B.C. youth are waiting longer before sexual activity. What is the definition of sexual activity? If you are asking one question you may not be getting all of the answers. There are no statistics distinguishing between oral, anal, vaginal or digital sexual activity. - Fellatio is going on and it is being watched at parties. Is this a self esteem issue for girls? LTH?s take on it is that it?s demoralizing and that girls are doing it to be acknowledged. - Genital warts are rampant and these are linked to cervical cancer. There are 150 types of genital warts and two are linked to cervical cancer. Genital warts are a virus which spreads through contact, not necessarily intercourse. - The age of consent is 14 years but if there?s pressure from any source then it?s not consensual. - One 19 year old told her parent that oral sex is not considered sex because you don?t lose your virginity. Oral sex carries a high risk of herpes and syphilis, low risk for HIV. - Anal sex is believed to be safer because you can?t get pregnant (bit you can). /Choosing abstinence./ - how to show that you care about someone without even touching them. - With some teens it?s less of a problem because of their religious background. - It is normal and healthy to have these feelings but the mind has the ability to say no. - Drugs and alcohol alter the activity of the brain. - How can one manage abstinence in this world, where provocative dress is everywhere and teens are bombarded with images on TV, the internet, movies and MSN? /Parents? Role/ - kids want to learn from their parents; they want to feel comfortable going to their parents. - School programs cover the facts and the science but not the more complex emotional side. - Intimacy gets lost in the open sexuality that?s going on. - It is never too late to try to talk to your teen about sex. - Talking about behavior is very important - A good time to talk is in the car because they can?t get away and it?s an excuse not to make eye contact. - The parent needs to take a neutral, non-judgmental approach, in private, be available for questions. - Alternatively, if there is another safe adult that you can trust that the teen can turn to that helps. /Have Things Really Changed Since the ?50?s?/ - The names have changed and with access to pornography on the internet and in magazines that anyone can buy, MSN but the big change is overwhelmingly the internet. - Another change is the early onset of puberty (sometimes at 8 or 9 in girls). Some girls look 16 but they are 11. Do they have the skills to deal with the response to their sexuality, the comments and actions? Can they deal with the lines like, ?You would if you loved me.? - Women have never been so objectified as they are now. - In music videos and daytime TV there is never talk about feelings or safe sex ? sometimes these provide ?teachable moments? if you are watching with your teen. /Dress Code/ - DB said that the Student Council has surveyed all the grades and a draft dress code is being generated and endorsed by the students. /Handouts/ - a number of handouts were passed out: o Education Services 2004 o What is Sexuality o Parents as Sexuality Educators o Who Should Be Teaching Children About Sexuality? o What should we tell the children? o Are You An Askable Parent? The meeting adjourned at 9:30 PM.